Yes, we shouldn’t judge people, but let’s be honest, we all do it – even when it comes to someone’s drink order. Whether you’re out socially with friends or networking with clients, when you give your drink order be aware that your drink says a lot about you as a person. We’ve done our homework, and here’s what people actually think about you when you order your beverage.
Vodka & Anything
Only rookies order a bad vodka or the Russian stuff that has a name longer than the alphabet. Bad vodka is for novices. Why order the rubbing alcohol and soda? Good or premium vodka is for more refined folks! Hearing someone order a premium vodka-and-anything is like sweet music to your ears. It’s like meeting an attractive girl who also speaks four languages, and who also mentions she loves yoga – there’s a sophistication that goes with it.
Mojitos
People that order Mojitos at a bar hate the bartender. Odds are you dated for a period, and you’re still mad at that thing they did. That goes for Daiquiris, Margaritas, or any other tropical concoction from your spring break vacation circa 2002.
Wine
Red, White, Rosé – it doesn’t matter.
Vino is for people who want you to know that they are classy. Deep down, wine drinkers are people that love the vino buzz (and you can’t get mad at that). Wine is perfect for any occasion – at home by yourself being fabulous watching The Bachelor, at a restaurant with friends or colleagues, at your kid’s swim meet, at the gym, cooking dinner, during dinner, and even after dinner. Wine is like that song you love listening to on repeat – it never gets old, and you can never go wrong with it.
Tequila
No one orders Tequila because it tastes good. Tequila is for your best friend’s bachelor party. It’s for the Snap story you’ve always wanted to record while on the D-floor at your favourite club. Tequila is the devil, but it is also the perfect beginning to any amazing story. So, consider the context of your environment before you indulge (lest you live in regret)!
Vodka & Red Bull
This one is usually ordered by the craziest friend in your crew (who should not be allowed anywhere near children or small animals). It’s also the official drink of choice for all the bros at your nearest Fraternity Party. That being said, what might your colleagues think if you haul off and order this concoction? Choose with caution.
Champagne
Champagne is for celebrating. Anyone drinking champagne is usually in a good mood and is also an awesome online shopper. Champagne is like that cool friend that you rarely get to see, but it’s always a great time when they’re around.
Martinis
You need to respect people who drink Martinis. They know what they want in life and have a plan to get it done. Who else would order pure rocket fuel to start the night? The odds are that if you are a regular martini drinker, your socks and underwear drawer are folded and colour coded as well. You’ll always make a good impression with
a martini!
Scotch
Ah yes, scotch is for those that have graduated from chugging to sipping. It’s for the classy and elegant, and anyone who loves a solid Anchorman reference. “I love Scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Down into my belly.”
Domestic Light Beer
We as a society love you. You’re respectful of authority, accepting of most people, and generally super chill and easy to get along with. You move out of the way politely at a crowded bar, you smile and head-nod at most people and you always tip the bartenders. What’s not to love about you?
Domestic Full- FlavoUr Beer
You’re sensible, grounded, and practical. You’re generally middle-of-the-road in your politics, and quick to challenge authority. You’re also more likely than the average person to own a truck and have a mixtape of country music in that truck. People that enjoy Domestic Beer are probably people like your dad or uncle Jim who never get drunk. Ever. Domestic Beer is the cheapest option, and often has the least amount of alcohol, so Domestic Beer drinkers are the types who like to pace themselves, booze-wise and financially.
Craft Beer/Imports
(Sierra Nevada, Blue Moon, Heineken)
You’re more likely to be politically left-leaning, outgoing, and extroverted. You’re intellectually curious and open-minded, and you’re interested in new and exciting experiences. You’re 36 percent more likely to enjoy Seinfeld, you own a bow tie, and have a cool new haircut as well.
These are a few of the most revealing drink orders known to men & women. Next time you’re on a date, out with friends, out with your partners parents for the first time, or out with your boss and colleagues after work, think twice about what your drink of choice says about you. We are all judging you.
Written By Jono Macri